Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hmm...

Is it cheating if I turn this into just a regular blog? Sometimes a Bible journal, sometimes a blog about whatever I want?

I've read all the scripture, but of course not blogged it in ages. I made a decision to revise how I was going about the journaling part. I've been using a weekly planner that I take to work with me and just writing a short bit of scripture and a couple sentences in the calendar. It sits on my desk. Hopefully this will take less time, and yet stick with me more throughout my day. It's going well so far!

Anyway, looking forward to the next time we get together. I miss reading everyone else's blog so I'm thinking I at least need to get on here some. And I kinda like the idea of having a blog, but not all about scripture, just about life. :-)

Happy New Year everyone!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Umm... oops!

Ok, so I forgot that we have no computer at our house right now, and thus I could not post this morning. And it's been a busy day at work so I can't spend much time on it here. :-( I did read though. And forgot that a good ole fashion paper journal will do the trick. Tomorrow morning, I'll do it, but on paper. And hopefully have time to at least type it here. I love how forgetful I can be. :-)

Happy Thursday everyone!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I miss this!

Wow. I did SO GOOD for so many weeks and then just totally crashed and burned. I'm still catching up on just reading my scripture from the last couple weeks. I haven't even considered posting. I feel kind of ok about it because my whole life has been neglected, not just this. And the things that I have spent my time on have been great, like hosting Thanksgiving and spending time with Hugh's kids. But looking back I think that time could have been even better if this had been a part of it. So, tomorrow morning will be my first post in a couple weeks. And hopefully next time life gets real busy, I'll find a way to keep this as a part of it. Back in October when Hugh and I went camping we still got up and read our scripture and it was really a blessing. I hope to remember that and hold on to this. I've really missed it. :-)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Help me see the first step

SOAP - Help me see the first step

Scripture
2 Corinthians 8:13-15, 9:7,11 Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little." ... Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ... You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion...

Observation
Paul is encouraging the generosity of the Corinthians.

Application
In parts of what Paul is saying it sounds like the Corinthians have been very generous in the past and have over time become less generous. I can totally believe that. For the most part I've not been frustrated by the gifts I feel called to give, but there are certainly times when I think of things I'd like to have, places I'd like to go and focus on that giving... thinking that if I had some of that back I could do the fun things I want to. That's not really what spoke to me in this scripture, just something I noticed that I can relate to. Anyway, it's the words "but that there might be equality" that get me. Yikes! Really? We are all meant to give such that among everyone there is equality? Among the whole world? I feel like God is calling me to give more, maybe time, maybe money, resources, who knows what. But when I think of giving all I can see is the overwhelming picture of trying to make the whole world equal. And that is totally unapproachable to me. I know there is a smaller step out there somewhere. That is where I need to start.

Prayer
Dear Lord, please help me see the smaller picture of where I can increase my giving. Help me see the first step to take. Forgive me for my resistance to being generous. Lord help me have a generous heart. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Let light shine out of darkness...

SOAP - Let light shine out of darkness

Scripture
2 Corinthians 4:6 For God, who said, "let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Observation
I think Paul is telling about how God has helped them in their ministry.

Application
I think for my this kind of goes along with what I wrote the other day about love. My love is pathetic... God's love is amazing and he helps us share his love with people. In this case I figure without God we just have darkness, but he fills us with light so that we can help each other and share his light and his love. I think I have a bad habit of thinking that every kind thing I do or say has to feel a certain way, like I should always enjoy it and if I'm not enjoying it then I won't bother to do it. But I feel like God wants me to still reach out and try to help someone, still reach out and try to love someone even when my heart feels like it is filled with darkness. He can make his light shine out of the darkness. It might be hard for me. And maybe when I'm not feeling great I'd rather just do nothing, but I know that God is not sitting around waiting for me to be perfect before he can use me. He wants to use all of us right now just the way we are. If we have shortcomings, he's God, he's not gonna have any trouble making up the difference. So what does God want me to be doing? Hmmm... I'll put some thought into that. :-)

Prayer
Dear Lord, I am often afraid that my efforts will be messed up by any kind of darkness that might be within me. I know that is silly because you can make your light shine out of the darkness. Lord yesterday I heard a great sermon, some other great mini sermons, great music and felt very close to you and lifted by your love. I feel like there were some messages for me throughout the day. And I pray that you would help me see what they were. They are not all clear now, but with some prayer and reflection I think there is great value to be found from yesterday. Lord please help me find that value, your message. Thank you. Amen.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Each one is beautiful!

SOAP - Each one is beautiful!

Scripture
1 Corinthians 15:39-41 All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.

Observation
Ok, I confess, I'm not entirely sure what Paul was trying to explain here. :-)

Application
For me, this scripture makes me think of the beauty of all of God's creation. No two people are the same. Each one is beautiful. We live in a beautiful part of the world. We are surrounded in nature by beauty. And it all reminds me of God and how awesome he is.

Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray that you would help me appreciate the unique beauty of all of your creation, all the people who's paths I cross in life. Each one is beautiful and as John said a few weeks back, each one is your masterpiece. Lord it seems difficult to tell people about your amazing love and tell people that they are beautiful, they are your masterpiece... when we don't treat them that way. Lord help me see how I should treat the people I cross paths with everyday and also my loved ones. Help me help them see that they are all beautiful. :-) Thank you Lord, Amen.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Love!

SOAP - Love!

Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

Observation
Paul's description of love.

Application
I remember the first time I studied this scripture as an adult. It hit me pretty hard. I read it and thought "Oh no, I don't love anyone... ". I felt really really bad that even though I claimed to love my friends and family, in reality, my love didn't look much like this at all. I suppose it still doesn't. I guess the way I see it is that our human love falls short, and this scripture is telling about God's amazing love. And God gives us his love to use to love our families, friends, even total strangers. For me, it seems like this is the greatest gift God can give me. My love is so pathetic. I desperately need his. I'm honored that he would love me and also share his love with me so that I can love others with this amazing love. This is often the saddest place where I see the effects of my choosing my own way, ignoring his guidance in my life. The more little steps I take away from him, the more I am left with only my own love to give, and that's pretty harsh. I need his love to give my family, my friends and those strangers that cut me off in traffic. His love is amazing. :-)

Prayer
Dear Lord. Thank you that you would even consider loving me and sharing your love with me. Thank you so much for the times when, through your love, I can love people in a way similar to what this scripture describes. I pray that you would help me open my heart to you, to receive your amazing love and love people more and more like Paul says we can. Thank you Lord, thank you so very much. Amen.

Each of us for the common good

Job 37, 38
1 Corinthians 12

SOAP - Each of us for the common good

Scripture
1 Corinthians 12:7 Now to each one the manifestation of the spirit is given for the common good.

Observation
Paul is telling the Corinthians that the Lord blesses each of us with gifts of different abilities all to be used for the good of everyone.

Application
We've probably all been part of Bible studies or read stuff about spiritual gifts. I know I have. I could probably use a refresher course. Right now I just like this scripture because I like the idea of working for the common good and I like it that it says "to each one". I'm really not sure what spiritual gift I may have. But for some reason this scripture offers me reassurance that there is something he's wanting me to do, and he's given me what I need to be able to do it. I personally think there are tons of different kinds of spiritual gifts. And maybe some people that have a combination of gifts instead of one in particular. As I said, I really have no idea what mine might be... tempted to think mine varies a good bit. And I'm also tempted to think that the "gifts" I have now are very different than the gifts I had five years ago, and that five years from now, they will have changed again. I know I can't be a pastor's wife and stay as shy as I'd like to. God's already worked on me a lot there and shows no sign of stopping. Anyway, like I said, this scripture is comfort to me in a time when things have been changing a lot in my life. And it's also exciting to know God is working in my life and to think of "working for the common good". I hope my response to his efforts will be good and not resistance.

Prayer
Dear Lord. Thank you for the work you've done in my life, the work you are doing in my life and all the you have planned. It's kinda crazy to me that you would care about this little random life out there... thanks for that. I pray that you would help me as I try to follow you and learn about the person you want me to be. Amen.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

For the good of others

Psalm 122
1 Corinthians 9-11

SOAP - For the good of others

Scripture
1 Corinthians 10:24&31 Nobody should seek his own good but the good of others. So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Observation
I think in this part of 1 Corinthians Paul is telling them that it's ok to eat things you wouldn't normally eat if it makes sense at the time in order to help minister to someone about God. I guess that probably applies to other aspects of life as well. If someone invites you to a meal and you want to tell them about the Lord, it's probably not going to go over all that well if you refuse to eat the meal they've made for you. You don't have to follow some strict set of rules all the time, just be sure that what you are doing is for God's glory. That is the impression I get from this scripture... maybe it means something totally different? Anyone know?

Application
Sometime over the last few days my mind has totally shutdown and cannot seem to come up with words to say about any of this scripture. I don't know if it's just scripture that doesn't speak to me strongly or what. I thought if I started writing today something would come to me but it really hasn't. I'm really looking forward to Thursday because I think getting together to talk about what we've been reading helps me when I come to a standstill. Anyway, I do hope that as I go about my days I can do things for the good of others instead of my own good, even when it's not easy. And I hope that I can take notice of my actions and priorities in life and see if they are for the glory of God or just for the comfort and pleasure of Kristy.

Prayer
Dear Lord, I guess I'm kind of struggling right now, but I know you are there and I know you love me. I don't want to take my struggle as an opportunity to run around doing as I please. Lord I pray that you would help me live well for you even in times when it doesn't come easily. Thank you Lord for all that you do for us. Lord, the words are not there in my mouth to speak or write, but I pray that you would write your words on my heart that I may follow you. Amen.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Life by the Spirit

Job 31-33
Galatians 5-6
1 Corinthians 1-3

SOAP - Life by the Spirit

Scripture
Galatians 5-6 ... do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." ... Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the sinful nature. ... The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. ... But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. ... Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Observation
Paul is trying to explain what a life lived for Christ is like.

Application
Unfortunately I definitely see the presence of more than a couple of the "acts of the sinful nature" in my life. The fruit of the Spirit is there too and in much greater amounts than it used to be. But I worry that too much of the good stuff is just in my head, a feeling rather than faith and love put into action. I supposedly feel love toward someone, but is it really love if it doesn't produce action. Can laziness be included in the acts of the sinful nature? Laziness and the ability to ignore the callings placed before us, whether it is the Lord telling us to help someone else, or the Lord telling us to make changes of our own. I definitely include laziness and willful avoidance in my sinful nature. What would my life look like if I had less of the sinful nature, and more of the fruit of the spirit put into action? How do I spend my time now? Mostly on myself? How would my priorities change? How would I spend my time then? All kinds of excuses to keep things just the way they are come to mind. I already feel pretty busy so I'm really reluctant to add more things to take up my time. But I know God will bless my efforts and it wouldn't surprise me at all to feel less busy when I'm spending more time serving the Lord. Of course now my question is, what should I do? And my answer is, I don't know, so I think I'll stick with "nothing". I know, that's not right. The answer is that you really can't go wrong with an attempt to serve others, so pick something, and get to it! Take steps in that direction and the path will become more clear as you go. Or perhaps God will just enjoy watching you randomly wander about trying to do the right thing... he's allowed to have a good laugh right? Anyway, the new Toby Mac song says it well... "If you gotta start somewhere why not here? If you gotta start sometime why not now? If we gotta start somewhere I say here. If we gotta start sometime I say now." :-)

Prayer
Dear Lord. I'm scared to tell you I'm going to put my faith into action, because that means I'll actually have to do it instead of just writing about it and continuing to avoid it. I know that laziness is keeping me here. I don't really feel scared but I suppose some amount of fear is keeping me here too. I know the excuse of not knowing what to do is no good. Dear Lord, I don't really know what to say. I want to trust you and I need your help. Lord I will find some new way to put my faith into action. Thank you Lord, Amen!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Galatians!!!

Job 28-29
Galatians 1-2

Job 28:28 And he said to man, "The fear of the Lord - that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding." Thanks Lord for the reminder of what you've shown me in the past weeks about "fearing" you. :-)

SOAP - Galatians!!!

Sorry, this kinda turned into a rant...

Scripture
Galatians 1:6-7 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel, which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.

Observation
Paul was teaching that we are saved by grace and can never earn God's love. Others were trying to tell the people that as Christians they still needed to follow the law in detail and had to earn their way into heaven. At the beginning of this letter Paul is trying to set straight some of the confusion between what he taught these people and what others are trying to teach them.

Application
I think this kind of confusion still happens a lot. There are parts of the Bible that make it sound like there is way more to it than grace. And there are parts that sound like grace is the only thing we need. And of course there is the thought that if we really have faith and believe in God's grace, God's love, Christ's sacrifice... our actions will change and we will in effect be following "the law". Actually in the present day it seems even more confusing because we want to love everyone, even when they are big time sinners. It's not our place to evaluate whether someone is a sinner, we are just supposed to love them. But then it's hard to keep from trying to "fix" people when we see the same sin in their lives that we've struggled with and see how much better our lives are now that we've let go of that sin. But we can't fix people, God does that part. I just know that I get confused. I've never been inclined to sit anyone down and point out their sins. But I do notice things going on in other peoples lives that I have struggled with too.

Actually, to me it's confusing for other reasons too. There are things God has convicted me of that I struggle with a lot. I really want to do the right thing. I really want to do what he has told me. But then I see what looks like entire congregations that are doing exactly what he's told me to avoid. And it makes me mad. Why should I have to struggle with this and yet he has apparently told this whole group of people not to worry about it? I don't understand the church's that have spent thousands of dollars on something like a cool lighting system, huge TV screens, extravagant decorations, etc., when two miles down the road there are homeless people out in the cold, hungry and freezing. There are probably even families within their own congregation that are struggling to get by. There are needs that are not being met everywhere we look! I'm not saying I use all that the Lord has blessed me with to feed the poor or help those in need, but I definitely feel a calling to improve there. So it confuses me when I see a church, an establishment I'd like to look to for guidance, that has embraced and attitude of glamour and self indulgence. To me, that is just confusing. I know the church won't be perfect and I try to keep from expecting it to be perfect, but I guess I want to look at it and see evidence that they are talking to the same God as I am. Ok, sorry for the rant. I know this is my problem and I shouldn't be worried about what other people are doing.

Prayer
Dear Lord. I get the feeling that the answer you have for me is that it doesn't matter what other people are doing. You are not asking me to serve you based on the actions of others, you are asking me to serve you based on what you've placed on my heart. Lord please help me stop looking at others and evaluating what they are doing. I know it serves no purpose. Lord I'm sorry that I'm so inclined to do that. Help me see clearly the things you have place on my heart. Thank you Lord for the many many blessings I have in this life. Thank you for your love and your grace. Amen.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thanks for the words!

SOAP - Thanks for the words!

Scripture
Mark 13:11 "Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given to you at the time, for it is not you speaking but the Holy Spirit."

Observation
Jesus is telling the disciples not to worry about knowing the right thing to say when they are arrested because the Holy Spirit will be there with them and give them the words they need.

Application
I like this scripture just because this has happened to me and every time I read it I am so thankful and it reminds me of a time when I felt like God was right there beside me. This summer I was kind of in charge of a big project at work. But in most of the meetings my boss had done all the talking. Well, we came to the day of a meeting that knew would be potentially nasty. I had been feeling sorry for her that she'd have to stand up to other peoples ideas at the meeting and try to convince everyone to go along with our plan. The meeting was about to start and she was not there. I don't remember where she was. I think she may have had to go to another meeting and trusted me to take care of things. I considered leaving and just dealing with the consequences of potentially losing my job. I did not want to go in there. It's not that I'm not good at meetings like that... I just flat out can't do it! But thankfully God went with me, gave me peace of mind, gave me the calm I needed to talk in front of people and gave me words to say so that I could be polite but still stand up to people. It was amazing. It really felt almost like I was just sitting back watching myself be guided by God. It's funny to me that I have this GREAT experience and yet I still hesitate in other areas of life when God gives me words to say, like when I feel him telling me I should talk to someone, try to be more outgoing, tell someone about our church. I still resist. I still cling to the shy personality that comes so easily to me. But I know God will give me words to say. And I know there is no greater thing than to serve the Lord and let his love speak through me.

Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you so very much for all that you have done for me. Thank you for being with me in that meeting and allowing me to be someone that I cannot be on my own. Lord I pray that you would help me have courage to be the person you are calling me to be all the time, not just when I've asked for your help, but also when you've asked me to do something for you. Thank you Lord. Amen.

The Fig Tree

SOAP - The Fig Tree

Scripture
Mark 11:13-14 Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again."

Observation
I've always had trouble with this scripture. I'm a wimp so I feel sorry for the fig tree. The scripture says that it wasn't the season for figs, and yet Jesus gets mad at the tree for not having any figs. That seems a bit harsh to me.

Application
Thankfully, William Barclay has an explanation of this scripture that allows me to feel at least a little better about it. I kinda think I might be getting distracted by feeling sorry for a fig tree, and missing the point. Anyway, Barclay says that this scripture shows us two important things. 1) It shows us that uselessness invites disaster. Jesus needed food. The fig tree didn't have any so it was useless to him and thus was doomed. That's still pretty harsh to me. I feel pretty useless a lot of the time. But I also know that if I truly give all of myself to the Lord, I will not be useless at all. 2) (I like this explanation better) It also shows us that profession of faith without practice is condemned. The tree had leaves; the leaves represent a claim to have figs, but there were no figs and thus it's claim was false. Barclay notes that the profession of faith without practice has been throughout the ages the curse of the church. He also quotes Gandhi: "The congregation did not strike me as being particularly religious; they were not an assembly of devout souls, but appeared rather to be worldly-minded people going to church for recreation and in conformity to custom." This explanation gets through to me. I understand it. And it seems very applicable in life. I can't go around claiming to be a christian and then having my actions directly contradict that. I have to do my best to put my faith into practice. Of course I am not going to be perfect and neither is anyone else, but I can't just carelessly go about doing as I please.

Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you for offering us the opportunity to serve you. I pray that you would give us courage and strength to do that even when it's so much easier to just go our own way. Give us a heart for you and a desire to go your way. Thank you. Amen.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Whose traditions are these?

Job 22
Psalm 121
Mark 7-10

SOAP - Whose traditions are these?

Scripture
Mark 7:8 "You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."

Observation
Jesus is talking to the Pharisees about washing hands, clean and unclean, etc. He tells them that the traditions they are so obsessed with are traditions of man, that they've lost sight of the traditions of God.

Application
As someone who was only in church til about the age of seven and has never studied the Bible in depth, there are a lot of times when I don't know if a tradition came from man or from God. There are holidays and holiday traditions. I guess every year I learn a little more about the history of some holidays, and how all the traditions developed. Actually it's often sort of surprising. Some traditions that I would think had no biblical basis do, and others that I've always assumed originated with the Bible didn't. Of course this applies to more than just holiday traditions. There are lots of traditions or attitudes/beliefs that are associated with being a Christian. Some in our everyday lives, some in the way we worship, etc. And it's sometimes hard to know which ones are man made and which ones are from God. But I think that studying the Bible and prayer will help us know. And I pray that the traditions of man don't cause us to lose sight of the commands of God.

Prayer
Dear Lord, sometimes traditions in life can cause me to lose sight of you and your commands, even if they are good and fun traditions. Lord I pray that in all our holiday celebrations and in our day to day lives you'd help us remember you and your message to us. Thank you Lord for your grace and your love. Help us be good to each other and give us a heart for you. Amen.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

But I like rocky places... not so much thorns though

Job 20
Mark 3, 4

SOAP - But I like rocky places... not so much thorns though

Scripture
Mark 4:16-19 Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like the seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.

Observation and Application
Jesus is explaining parts of the parable of the sower to the disciples. I think in my life a lot of times I struggle with a combination of these two parts of the parable. I feel like God calls me to do something, and I'm excited about it and take some steps in that direction, but as soon as I am met with a challenge my determination diminishes and eventually I just stop. I think I've gotten better at this, but still definitely have tons of improvement to make. I think this Bible study, a better (but still pretty pathetic) prayer life and a habit of regularly going to church have helped me here. God gives me strength and reassurance through all those things and that helps me keep going when it looks like failure is likely. I'm excited to be able to look back over the years and see the differences in my life that studying the Bible, prayer and church have made.

And I also struggle a lot in the area of the seed sown among the thorns. I usually feel like God is trying to tell me something, but all the worries and distractions of the world are making it hard for me to get the message. I get a general idea, but worrying about money or time takes me off track. Or I worry that some plan will not work. And that is silly. God's plans do work, if we follow them. That's a 100% guarantee. They may not work how we think they should, but why would they? They are not our plans, but his. God isn't telling me what he wants me to do so I can do a risk analysis of it and review it (sorry, that's what I do at work so I tend to do it everywhere). He doesn't want me to tell him all the ways I'm worried it might not work out how I think it should, or all the ways I'd do it differently. Hmm... thinking back to small group and talking about unsolicited advice in relationships, I think I do that to God a lot. God has a plan and I spend my time thinking of all the ways I'd do it different and why it might not work, instead of just going with the plan.

I hope that as I grow in faith through Bible study, prayer and worship I will have better roots to keep me going when there are struggles. And I hope those things will also help me focus on God and not the worries and distractions in the world so that I can hear his message and go where he leads me.

Prayer
Dear Lord, please help me build me faith in you and listen to you and not the world so that I can serve you and your plans for me will be effective and not lost. Thank you Lord for all that you do for us. Thank you for your word. Thank you for your love. Amen.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A simple man?

Job 19
Mark 1, 2

SOAP - A simple man?

Scripture
Mark 1:6 John wore clothing made of camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist and he ate locusts and wild honey.

Observation
Well, I thought I could find some "cool" scripture that would stand out to me. But for some reason I kept coming back to this. It's a brief description of John's clothing and what he ate. One of our study Bibles says the clothing is significant because it was exactly like Elijah's and there is scripture saying God would send Elijah back. The rest of our study Bibles also say it's like Elijah's clothing and that both wore that clothing in contrast to the flowing robes of the religious leaders. John's clothing is mentioned in one study Bible as a statement against self-indulgence. And in another it says his clothing and way of life was the beginning of the "gospel spirit", a spirit of self denial and non-conformity to the world.

Application
I guess the appeal to me here is in the simplicity and the self denial, or lack of self indulgence. And it's applicable to all aspects of life, not just my clothes and my food. There are lots of areas in life where I'm likely to embrace an attitude of self indulgence. Sometimes that comes from a desire to fit in to society in a certain way. Sometimes it comes from an attempt to fill some void that I've probably created by neglecting prayer, and God in general. Sometimes life just gets kind of overwhelming and my temporary solution is to indulge myself in something... buying some fun new hiking/camping equipment, going out for lunch instead of eating the sandwich I brought from home, sitting down on the couch to watch football all day when I know there are things that need to be done, etc. I think there are times when all that stuff is ok, but not when we are struggling with something we should take to God in prayer, and instead we try to solve it at Gander Mountain with a new fleece and a camping stove. And of course as I said earlier, this carries over into lots of other areas of life. It just occurred to me that another way I indulge myself when I get overwhelmed is by going on a little mini vacation. Hmm... as usual my thoughts are just kind of randomly jumping around. I wonder if God is trying to get something thru to me here. I feel like maybe there is some relationship between self-denial and being able to have self control. Of course there is. I ask God for help a lot with self control in how I react to situations in life. But yet I think I'm pretty lacking in self-denial in lots of little ways. Maybe there are some places where I need to practice more self denial and that will help me have better self control too.

Prayer
Dear Lord...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Give it away, give it away, give it away now!

If The Bridge ever does want to have a Free Yard Sale, I'm confident that it would be a huge blessing, maybe not a huge monetary blessing, but still a huge blessing. This blog isn't directly about our scripture, but maybe it's about the result of some of the messages I've gotten out of the scripture and the result of some things God has placed on my heart lately. Anyway, this is my story about giving away some of the "stuff" I've accumulated through the years...

Well, as Hugh said to me Saturday morning, in the words of the Red Hot Chili Peppers... "Give it away, give it away, give it away now!"

Over the last few years I've made some efforts to clean out the house, get rid of stuff I don't need. It's been really really slow. Sometime in the last year, God got involved in the effort. It changed from just being something I wanted to do, to something I felt God telling me to do. It was still really slow. I sorted through some stuff but still had it sitting in our house for months. Then a couple weeks ago God kind of lit a fire under me. I felt like he was telling me "really Kristy, give that stuff away and give it away now! don't wait til you think all the details involved are perfect, make it a priority, sort through as much as you can, and give it away now!"

So, for once, I put all I had into doing what God told me to over the last couple weeks. It often seemed silly and hopeless. And there was stuff that I couldn't imagine letting go of. I just wished someone else would come along, do something with it for me and make it all easy. But I asked God for help every day and I did my best. Our living room was piled with junk, some of the bedrooms too. The time came to give it all away. I asked John if he thought it would be ok to sit in the Bridge parking lot and try to give it away. And he said it was. So Saturday morning I got up with the plan of loading as much as I could into my truck, putting up a sign that said "Free" and giving it away.

All kinds of excuses for not doing it crossed my mind... it won't fit in my truck, someone I know will see me and laugh, people in businesses around there won't appreciate someone looking like they've opened a thrift store on the side of the road, it looks like it might rain, no one will want this stuff because it's junk, I'll give away something I love and regret it... so many excuses. But I loaded up and went anyway.

I still don't know how it all fit in my truck. I'd say God was most definitely involved there. It had started to rain as I headed over the mountain into Huntsville, but by the time I got to the Bridge it had mostly stopped. I set up a table and taped together my "Free" sign and started getting stuff out, wondering if anyone would stop. They did! Some people told me their names. I wish I could remember more names. The first to stop was a girl probably around my age. She joked that she was supposed to be having her own yard sale but had canceled it because of the rain... and now she was taking home my junk. I had a lot of kitchen items and linens that were duplicates from Hugh and I combining households. That stuff went QUICKLY to the first couple people who stopped. They seemed very happy to be getting some sheets, a crockpot, etc. At one point a handful of people had stopped all at once. I was still unloading stuff and I put out a bag of clothes... this one guy just took the whole bag. I was kinda surprised but didn't really think much about it. Then I put out a bag of stuffed animals... and another guy took that whole bag. That one I was really tempted to stop... I wanted to stop him and say "wait, I loved those stuffed animals, my brother and I both did, you can't just take the whole bag and toss them in the back of your truck!" But I knew it wasn't right to stop him. I just smiled at him. He seemed really thankful. That made it better. I knew part of what God wanted me to do is let go. It's just stuff! But it's still hard. One guy named James stopped and thoroughly looked through everything. He kinda reminded me of my dad, kinda quirky, very nice. He talked to me for quite a while. He took some stuff that would have been extra hard to give away, but he kinda won me over so it was easier to see it go into his hands. A girl stopped who said her house burned down about a month ago. A lot of my clothes that were too small for me fit her perfectly. She was really nice and fun to talk to too. She even left and came back with a friend. That was cool too. I met a little boy that looked thru everything and picked out things for his grandma and his cousin... he seemed like he had a very generous and loving heart. He picked up a necklace and said he wanted to see what it looked like on me. I put it on and he said I should keep it because it looked pretty on me. Some of these people just totally captured my heart. People took all kinds of stuff, all kinds of nicknacks. I even had a "TrapperKeeper" from elementary school that someone took. Old coloring books. Little cat statues. I'm still way too attached to my stuff. But it was a better experience than I could have ever imagined. God was right there with me and I am still amazed and thanking him. I don't even begin to know how to thank him. Our house looks so clean now. I met some cool people. And hopefully people have some things they might have needed, and some things that will just be for fun.

Ok, now for the only part that was kind of a bummer... I confess, I only mentioned the church to a few of the people. I've always been shy about doing that kind of thing, telling people to come to church, etc. And I've never really felt like God was calling me to improve there. I kind of felt like he was ok with me being shy. This time was different. It's not that I feel guilty or that he really convicted me saying "kristy you should have told everyone to come to church!" He just kind of showed me that I met some great people, and they went on their way, and I could have done more for them. Maybe it would have been nice to see them again. Inviting them to church would maybe give me that chance. Or maybe it would have just been a nice thing to do for a nice person, telling them they are welcome at our church. I wish I had done what I could to help them know the God I know. It wasn't my focus for the day, and I think God was ok with that. But I like how he can still point out that I could have done more there. I was doing what he asked me to do and he used that opportunity to show me more that can be done. :-)

Anyway, I think I've rambled on about this enough. It was an amazing experience. God is so great. Thanks to God. Thanks to The Bridge. And thanks to all the people who stopped. :-)

Monday, October 26, 2009

Me, a Christian?

Job 17
Acts 24-26

SOAP - Me, a Christian?

Scripture
Acts 26:28-29 Then Agrippa spoke to Paul. "Are you trying to talk me into becoming a Christian?" he said. "Do you think you can do that in such a short time?" Paul replied, "I don't care if it takes a short time or a long time. I pray to God for you and all who are listening to me today. I pray that you may become like me, except for these chains."

Observation
Paul has been trying to defend his actions and telling about Jesus. Some translations make it sound kind of like King Agrippa is mocking Paul. Some don't really give an impression of his attitude toward Christianity. Others make it sound like he is pleasantly surprised by what Paul is saying, on the verge of being convinced that he wants to be a Christian too. In any case, Paul responds that whether it only takes a short time to convince people, or a long time, his hope is that all who hear him will become Christians.

Application
Umm... I'm really doing bad with the application part lately. I read this early this morning. This was the scripture that stood out to me but I couldn't think of anything to say about it. I thought something might come to me during the day, but it hasn't. Maybe I just like it that Paul was hoping for all people to become Christians, even if it took a long time. Actually, the "except for these chains" part kinda makes me laugh. But I don't really know how it's applicable to my life. Maybe this also makes me think of being part of a church that is just getting started... whether it happens overnight or it takes longer, our hope is to grow and share God's love with more and more people.

Prayer
Dear Lord, help us all maintain the hope of sharing your love with all people, even if sometimes the timing might be different than we planned. Lord I pray that you'd give us strength and clarity of mind to follow your plans and help us not get bogged down when your plan takes turns we were not expecting. Help us see clearly enough to take the next step out into the darkness, trusting you, knowing that any path that follows you is amazing. Thank you Lord for your love. Amen.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Suddenly I see...

Job 15
Acts 19, 20

SOAP Suddenly I see...

Scripture
Acts in general but the scripture I liked most was Acts 20:24 "However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to God's grace."

Observation and Application
I don't know what it is about Acts exactly, but something about it got me thinking about work this morning. I think it is the fact that the disciples and apostles could easily have felt like they had an impossible task in front of them, and could easily have backed away and not embraced that task. But they depended on God and moved forward and had great success. In thinking about work, I was remembering the various tasks I've been given through the years that seemed impossible to me. When I first started thinking about it this morning I was really just recalling things that have made me mad and reviving some old bitterness. Sounds like a dumb plan, I know, but I couldn't seem to stop thinking about these stupid work projects. I started thinking through each one and remembering what went wrong, how it turned out, etc. Many have the same story... I get assigned a project that is big and scary, I don't think I can do it, I ask for help and they tell me I should be able to do it, things go wrong, I fail miserably and I get in trouble for it. Umm... yeah, that definitely made me mad many times. Then I remembered that this summer I had a HUGE project that in many ways was bigger and scarier than any of the rest... and yet it turned out ok. Things went wrong but they got fixed, I didn't think I could do it, but I did. And I wondered, what is the difference? And it really was one of those moments when you suddenly see the difference and think "wow, that's so cool! God made all the difference!" Before, I was relying on me or maybe help from coworkers, but that is it. This summer I was totally relying on God. I depended on him alone to make it possible for me to do what I needed to on that project. And he helped me every day, whether it was be providing me with coworkers to help or helping me figure out things that seemed impossible to me. There were times when it felt like he made time stand still so I could finish what I needed to. He gave me words to say when I had to talk in front of people in meetings and stand up to opposition to my plans. He gave me strength when people said things that hurt my feelings. God is awesome! Anyway... it was just a really cool realization to me this morning that the only difference between all those projects that resulted in miserable failure and the one that resulted in success (and even a bonus) is that God was my foundation in my success. Without God I am nothing. With God I feel power, not that I am powerful but that I can feel God's power within me. I need him every day for every "project". He is a great foundation for success in life's big scary moments and in the little things we do day to day. He is everything to us and our hope is to love him and serve him in all our ways.

Prayer
Dear Lord thank you for the reminder this morning that you have done many awesome things in my life and allowed me to be someone I didn't know I could be, someone I can't be without you. Thank you for all your help this summer at work. And thank you for your help in every day. Dear Lord, your love is amazing. Thank you for your love and your grace. Dear Lord I need you today and every day. I want to do my best to serve you. Amen.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Then and Now

Job 13, 14
Acts 17, 18

SOAP - Then and Now

Scripture
Acts in general.

Observation (umm... this is just a bunch of totally rambling thoughts that didn't come together to make any sense! :-) )
We talked last night at Bible study about the difference between the time period of Acts and the present day. What is the difference? Wish I could remember all of what was said. I think I might be making the mistake of reading Acts only as a history lesson, not really being open to applying it to my life now. Christianity is not new now. And I'm not at risk of being flogged. I don't see myself performing any miracles in trying to tell people about Christ. I don't face opposition like they did if I talk to someone about what I believe. But I think the world now is more similar to the world then than I realize... maybe? I really just don't know. There are definitely differences now. But I'm sure there is a lot we can learn from Paul, Silas, etc that would help us now. They faced the opposition of angry Jews who wanted them to go away. We face the scenario of trying to get through to people who feel like they already know all about God and Jesus and don't want any part of it. Or they want to be a part of God and Jesus but they've been to church and don't want any part of that. It seems like when it was new, Christianity was pretty well defined, people understood what to do and took action, helping each other, praying, studying. Now it seems like there is such a broad spectrum of what counts as Christianity, people who in theory believe in Jesus but yet their lives don't look any different before Christ and after Christ. So we see by example that we can be saved and then sit back and do nothing. If I can sit back and do nothing, do I really believe in Jesus? Have I really acknowledged him with all my heart? I doubt it. Anyway, I guess my main thought is that at first glance it seems that Christianity in the time of Acts was new and more straight forward, easier to convey and easier for people to embrace. And now it seems like such a jumbled mess that to most people it looks like there is nothing solid for them to grasp. But is it really that different? If it's such a jumbled mess now, what can we do to make it more straightforward? How can we live our lives and tell people about Christ in a way that they feel like it's worth being a part of?

Hah, I have no idea what I'm saying. I've even been one of those people looking at the church and saying "God, yes I like God... but church, no thanks, don't want any part of that". And I have no idea what changed other than God telling me I needed to go to church whether I liked it or not. So, to add to the rambling thoughts here, can we even reach people and get them into church if God hasn't put on their hearts to be there? This is all kinda confusing, but kinda exciting too.

Prayer
Dear Lord, take all these jumbled thoughts in my head and make them make sense! Hah. I picture you listening to my thoughts and going "yay, she's almost got it... oh no, that wasn't it. bummer. maybe next time." Umm, wow, I don't know what to say to you Lord. We want to love you. We want to love each other. Our love is nothing without your love. Your love is amazing. Lord I know that I don't embrace Christianity with all that I am. I am ashamed to say that I'm not sure I'm willing to. Dear Lord, forgive me for clinging to "my life" and give me strength to follow you with all my heart. Help me see clearly what I should be doing in my life. Lord I pray that you would help us all see what our roles are as Christians in today's world. Help us learn from the stories in Acts. Help us take that knowledge and apply it here today. Thank you Lord for loving us, for guiding us, for hearing our prayers. Amen.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Well that's a good attitude!

Job 11, 12
Acts 15, 16

SOAP - Well that's a good attitude!

Scripture
25About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. 27The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"

29The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

31They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." 32Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. 33At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. 34The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.

Observation
The people have flogged Paul and Silas and put them in prison. They have not become bitter. They are singing hymns and praying. Then they even show concern for the very man that put them in prison. Instead of running away when an earthquake frees them, they stay there. The jailer, assuming they are gone, is about to take his own life when Paul calls out to him to not harm himself because they are still there. The jailer seemed pretty moved by this, even scared of them. He immediately wanted to know what he should do to be saved. And as soon as he was saved, he took action, cleaning their wounds and feeding them. We see a similar reaction earlier in chapter 16 when Lydia is saved and immediately invites Paul and Silas to stay at her house. The very first thing the jailer and Lydia did after becoming Christians was to be generous with what they have, using it to serve the Lord.

Application
I really like it that Paul and Silas have such a good attitude here. They could have easily thought that everything was going wrong and be totally bummed. They could also easily have held a grudge against the man who imprisoned them. But, instead they are praying and singing hymns. And happily tell the jailer what he needs to do to be saved. I've had this feeling lately that God wants me to learn some more hymns, maybe to be able to run them through my mind when I'm faced with a situation that I could easily embrace with a bad attitude. I think they would be helpful when things seem to be going wrong and I can't put words together to pray or to tell myself to help keep a good attitude. I guess that's the main thing that stood out to me here, they were singing hymns. I like it when the messages I'm getting from God end up backed up by the scripture I'm reading. And the way they treated the jailer stood out too. I hope that in life when put in a similar circumstance I'll treat people well and have my focus be on helping them know the Lord, rather than how they have treated me. That seems very hard, totally impossible for me on my own, but totally possible with God's help. Oh yeah, one more thing... I like the reactions of the new Christians. They are immediately generous with what they have to give. I hope I can be generous with all I have, as it is not really mine but God's and he's looking to me to use it for his work.

Prayer
Dear Lord, I can't thank you enough for the times when you have been right there beside me helping me keep a good attitude. Thank you for guiding me and helping equip me with some plans to help keep my mind on you when things are going wrong. Lord I want to keep a good attitude, a gracious and thankful heart. Lord thank you for the blessings you've given me, trusting me to use them for your work. Lord I pray that you would open my eyes to see how they can be used, and open my heart and help me be generous with all you've given me. I know that it is indeed yours and not my own. How then Lord should I use these gifts for your service? Thank you Lord, Amen.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Good, but not quite getting through

Job 6-8
Acts 12

Scripture
All of it.

Observation
In Job, I think what is happening is that Job is expressing his anguish and his friends are trying to comfort him. Although one of our study Bibles makes it sound like his friends are kinda being mean and telling him that he must have done something bad for God to do this to him. I guess I can see that in reading it. But mostly I see them telling him to ask God for help. And him refusing and just saying how miserable he is. It reminds me of situations in life now when a friend or family member is unhappy and instead of trying to do something about it they just keep on being unhappy. I think I'm just totally missing something here. I've read Job before and had the same reaction. I just don't get it. It seems like Job fully embraces a bad attitude (with good reason and all... but still, I thought the whole point of the story was that all this bad stuff happened and he kept a good attitude). I think maybe tomorrow I'll read a summary of Job in a study Bible or something and hopefully have the right mindset when I start reading the scripture.

And Acts... I feel like Acts is an important book but it's not quite getting through to me either. I think maybe I'm overly anxious to get to the rest of the new testament. I know there is a lot of good stuff in Acts. But it feels more like a history book. I just don't want to overlook some really good stuff by having my mind closed to an unfamiliar message. I don't it to be like I'm just going through reading the highlighted parts of my Bible and skipping over the rest.

Application
Maybe I'm just distracted in general right now or something. I don't know. But I guess what I'm learning today is that this section of the Bible is going to require a little more effort to get all the good out of it. I think I'll read today's scripture again later today. And tomorrow I'm going to try to allow more time to read so that I can get out more study Bibles and see what some other folks have to say.

Anyway, it may be strange but I'm really excited that this scripture has turned out to be a bit tougher to embrace. I kinda feel like there is a reason God wants me to dig in a bit deeper to learn about Job and Acts. It will be fun. :-)

Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you so very much for your word. It is beautiful and full of wisdom and guidance for our lives. Thank you for this Bible study. Thank you that studying your word feels like an important part of my daily life. Dear Lord please bless our reading and study of your word. Let it speak to us what we need to hear as we follow you in our days. Thank you Lord! Amen. :-)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Mostly a prayer...

Job 5
Psalm 108
Acts 10-11

SOAP - Mostly a prayer...

Scripture
Job 5:8-9 "But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

Observation
I think that Job's friend is saying if he were in Job's situation, he would ask God for help. God can do anything and so he can definitely help Job.

Application
This is not one of those parts, but every time I read the parts of the old testament where God has done something amazing for the people and they forget him, I think that it's ridiculous and I wonder how they could be so blind. This scripture tells us to lay our cause before God. I think there is plenty of scripture that makes that idea clear... having trouble? confused? not sure about a decision? struggling to do the right thing? feeling down and troubled? feeling thankful? anything and everything... good and bad... it makes sense to lay our cause before God. God has answered so many of my prayers in ways much greater than I ever imagined and yet I constantly find myself trying to work things out for myself. Did it this weekend. Saturday was a hard working house cleaning day, trying to give some stuff away, and somehow get organized. I knew I'd need God's help and I started my day with him. Sunday was meant to be laid back and fun. But, it seemed to me that all my plans for fun were going wrong. And I really really wanted to keep a good attitude about it. I tried so hard to have a good attitude. How is it that in the midst of trying to have a good attitude, it never occurred to me to pray? God crossed my mind but I never once stopped to talk to him. I don't get it at all. And I'll probably do it again later today. I don't know why the people of the old testament look so silly to me. I'm just the same.

Prayer (this is gonna get long... don't know why I felt the need to put a whole rambling prayer in here, but I did... )
Dear Lord. I'm sorry that I didn't come to you for help yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking. Dear Lord today is just an ordinary day. I don't know of any big challenges I'll face. But I need your help with it Lord. I need your love, your grace. I need you to lead me and show me the right things to do. I'm not saying I'm just going to sit back and do nothing til you tell me what to do. But please Lord, help me open my heart and open my mind to your guidance. How can I serve you if I go about my day on my own? Maybe I don't have big plans for this day, but you might. I don't want to miss out on the work you are doing in my life because I closed my heart and my mind to you.

Dear Lord it seems like there are so many options before us, ways to use our time, ways to use our money. And a lot of them are good things. But even if they are all good things we still have to pick some and forget the others. Dear Lord this week seems busy already. I feel like I need to be doing something to serve you. But I also feel like it's important to spend time with family and show support for them. And I also feel like it's important to spend time accomplishing things at home, work for the church, and things that I just enjoy. I feel like I need to spend some time with friends I haven't seen in a while. The actual demands on my time are really very minimal, but the options out there of where to spend it seem huge. Dear Lord please help my make wise use of time, and see what is most important. Help me avoid wasting time. Dear Lord help me see where I can serve you. Show me where you are at work around me and how I can help.

Dear Lord it's the same with money. There are so many options. We just went camping so of course there are camping things that we want now. And there are always coffee related items that we'd love to buy, like a coffee grinder or another coffee press. I probably actually need some work clothes and shoes but of course I'd rather have the camping and coffee stuff. This time of year lots of people are in need. It's getting cold and the holidays are approaching. People can't afford to feed their families and certainly can't afford christmas presents or a big thanksgiving meal. That makes me sad and I want to help. But then there is me. And there are things that I'd like to do. There is a blacksmithing class at this folk school up in the mountains. I would love to go. It just seems like it would be good to get away and learn something new. But that money could be used for so many other things. How can I use it for something that I don't need at all? Or do I "need" it? Would it serve me well as part of the person you made me? Or am I just lying to myself in hopes of getting what I want? I have no idea. And that class is going to fill up. Dear Lord please help me see what is right. Lord I never used to have extra money and yet I spent it on things I didn't need anyway. Now I do have extra and I don't know what to do with it. I guess I can imagine having to explain to you why I bought what I bought, why I spent that money on whatever it is that I spent it on. I'm pretty sure my imagination can assist me in lying to myself. But I'll try. Wish you could just put a big red "X" over all the things I shouldn't buy or shouldn't do. Oh yeah, there are computers too... if I had a new computer and the right software I could do everything I want to for the church and I could do more photography, more things to help people... but is that really worth the money for a computer? Can't I still help people without it? Thank you Lord for blessing me with plenty. :-)

Nope, still not done... Dear Lord please watch over our church. There are lots of decisions to be made there too. And we want to make the ones that serve you best. I have to confess, I've thought about the question "what is the point of church?" and I'm not sure that I have a clear answer. I don't remember if John asked us that in a sermon or why that question came to mind, but it has. Lord what is the answer? What is the point of a church? I know it's a place to worship you. And I know we want to "save" as many people as we can. How do we do that? What is important? How do we make the connection between you and the people out there? Everyone needs you and I doubt anyone is just sitting back thinking their relationship with you is perfect and they have no need to grow. How do we help the people who don't know you and also the ones who do know you? How do we reach people in the community? What do we do to help people who are already part of the Bridge grow? It seems like it should be easy to figure it out. But yet I feel like there is something I am totally missing. I feel like you are trying to show us (or me) something and I'm blind to it for some reason. Lord how do you want me to help the Bridge? Is there something I am ignoring? Show me please.

Thank you Lord for hearing this prayer. Thank you for the many blessings in my life. Lord please guide me in my decisions. I pray that you would help me use those blessings for your service. Amen.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A good wife?

Job 1, 2
Acts 6, 7

SOAP - A good wife?

Scripture
Job 2:9-10 His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Observation
Job is enduring the horrible things that have happened in his life and still praises God. His wife on the other hand, has had enough! She told him to curse God and die.

Application
Well, one of our study Bibles says that Satan probably left Job's wife there with him instead of killing her because she was only making him more miserable! Yikes! That is not the kind of wife I want to be. There will be good times and there will be bad times. The burden of the bad times shouldn't be increased by us being angry and torturing our loved ones. I've done it and I'm not proud of it at all. And God's helped me a lot in that area. I hate that my reaction to struggles in the lives of my loved ones is often anger, but it often is. And it's hard for me to hide it and it's not productive. Job calls his wife foolish. My Bible says that the Hebrew word for foolish denotes moral deficiency. I want to offer moral strength. I want to be the wife standing by and saying "I know times are tough, but we can't curse God, praise God!" I certainly don't want to be the wife that is making her struggling husband more miserable. Same for all my loved ones.

Prayer
Dear Lord, give me strength to be a supportive, loving and gracious wife, friend, daughter, etc. I pray that when my loved ones face struggles I will keep my faith in you and not make things worse for them. All the good that is within me is from you Lord. I thank you for that. Let that good be there for my loved ones and within them as well. Thank you. Amen.

My favorite Psalm!

Malachi 3, 4
Psalm 148 (Yay!)
Acts 5

SOAP - My favorite Psalm!

Scripture


1 Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD from the heavens,
praise him in the heights above.

2 Praise him, all his angels,
praise him, all his heavenly hosts.

3 Praise him, sun and moon,
praise him, all you shining stars.

4 Praise him, you highest heavens
and you waters above the skies.

5 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for he commanded and they were created.

6 He set them in place for ever and ever;
he gave a decree that will never pass away.

7 Praise the LORD from the earth,
you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,

8 lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
stormy winds that do his bidding,

9 you mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,

10 wild animals and all cattle,
small creatures and flying birds,

11 kings of the earth and all nations,
you princes and all rulers on earth,

12 young men and maidens,
old men and children.

13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

14 He has raised up for his people a horn, the praise of all his saints,
of Israel, the people close to his heart.
Praise the LORD.

Observation
Everything praises the Lord, all of his creation!

Application
This is my favorite Psalm. I love it! "Praise him all you shining stars!" "You mountains and all hills!" I just love it. I've always remembered this Psalm. I suppose we read it sometime when I was a kid in vacation Bible school or something. All through my life this has really been the only part of the Bible I would have consistently remembered or recognized. It's really special to me so I wanted to make sure that I put lots of thought into what I write so I can do it justice. I thought all day yesterday and never really figured how to put it into words. I don't think I can do it justice. God's creation speaks for itself. Some people have done well to write poems or songs that at least put it partly into words. But I'm not a poet or song writer. I know that the Lord's creation is AMAZING. And I see him everywhere I turn. All these things praise him, not just the tall mountains, but all the hills too. :-) Anyway, I really don't know what to say about this other than... it's my favorite Psalm. I think I'll take it outside with me and read it as the sun comes up. Seeing God's creation leaves me no doubt of his amazing love.

Prayer
Lord thank you for this world. I know it's not meant to be our home in the end and some would argue that I shouldn't love it as much as I do, but it's beautiful. And I hope my love of your creation serves to bring me closer to you, to praise you, to share your amazing love. Thank you Lord. Thank you! Amen.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The sometimes harsh old testament, prayer, and more scripture about "stuff"...

Nehemiah 13
Malachi 1, 2
Acts 4

The sometimes harsh old testament, prayer, and more scripture about "stuff"...

Scripture
Today's scripture from Nehemiah and Malachi in general.
Acts 4:24, 31 When they heard this, they raised their voices together in prayer to God, "Sovereign Lord," they said, "you made the heavens and the earth and the sea, and everything in them." ... After they had prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.
Acts 4:32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

Observation
This is more old testament scripture that I struggle with. Nehemiah seems like a pretty cool guy, and then we read about him beating some men that had married women of other nations. I guess it goes along with the times, and those men had really messed up. But it just seems so harsh. And then in Malachi there is more scripture that makes God sound like a five year old that's mad because his brothers and sisters aren't treating him like he's the greatest of them all. It's all still pretty confusing to me. But at least I can read it now and not get totally thrown off track. I used to read it and not like it and decide I didn't want to go to church any more. I'd just stick with prayer and skip the Bible and church because I didn't like that old testament stuff. So, progress is being made. I'm reading it. I'm still here, not going anywhere. But I still don't get it. On to the new testament and the stuff that I do get, but have yet to take action to follow... :-)
Peter and the other followers of Jesus were faced with opposition. They went to God in prayer and he heard their prayers and filled them with the Holy Spirit.
During this time it sounds like the believers lived as a group, sharing everything so that no one was in need.

Application
I've been trying to figure out the prayer thing lately. I put some thought into over the last couple months and didn't really get far. I wanted to pray the "right way" but have had trouble figuring out what that is. So I just went back to the way I've been praying. And I think I'll stick with that as a baseline, but hope to learn as I come across scripture that talks about prayer. So, what do I learn from this scripture? The thing that I notice most is that the whole purpose of their prayer seems to be asking God to help them so that they can keep serving him. That seems like a very good reason to ask God for something. It's not just asking for something so you can be comfortable or content, happy, etc. It's asking him because you are trying to serve him and something is standing in your path. So, I'm going to pay attention when I pray. How much of what I ask is just for myself and not serving any purpose for God?
Also, they mention possessions again here, a major theme in my life lately as I have way too many of them. I've picked a day, Saturday, and I'm going to commit myself to sorting through as much of this junk as I can. I think I'll have to do a little Friday too cause I'll probably call a donation center and have them come by and take a load of stuff off my hands. So, action is going to be taken. And I'm trying to involve my dad too. His house is chaos and he's been trying to sort through junk there. Our current plan is to meet early for breakfast, each head to our own houses and work really hard all afternoon, then meet again to watch Virginia Tech beat Georgia Tech. That way we have a set time frame, some goals, and a treat at the end. Ok, anyway, thanks God for the continued scripture about "stuff". It's helping motivate me to get this done!

Prayer
Dear Lord, does cleaning out our house count as serving you? I think it's something you have told me to do. Maybe it's not serving you, but perhaps it counts as following you? Lord please help my dad and I be able to put some sense into the chaos of all the stuff around our houses. Help us stay on task and work hard. I feel like you've been telling me to make some changes here for a long time and I haven't made the time to do it. I feel like this might be kind of a road block on the path you have for me. Lord please bless my efforts to do what you've told me to do. Thank you Lord for loving me and leading me through this life. Amen.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

In the beginning

Nehemiah 9, 10
Acts 2

SOAP - In the beginning

Scripture
Acts 2:37-47 When the people heard this they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Bothers, what shall we do?" Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, for all whom the Lord our God will call." With many other words he warned them and he pleaded with them, "Save yourselves from this corrupt generation." Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. The devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with gad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Observation
This is a nice description of some of the first groups of people being baptized after the cruxifiction. Peoples hearts were changed. They lovingly gave to those in need and enjoyed fellowship together.

Application
I just really like this description of everyone fellowshipping and learning together, all these new believers and the apostles. It makes it sound like they were just on fire for God. I guess we all feel that way sometimes, but not all the time. Of course I'd love to feel that way all the time. And I'm tempted to think that it's always supposed to feel that way and that God won't bless my efforts if I'm not feeling "on fire" for him at the time. But I think he will bless our efforts, even when we are overwhelmed, knowing we don't have time to do all the things we want to do. But we have to rely on his strength and give it our best shot. We can't just sit back and be overwhelmed, which I have a bad habit of doing. There are a lot of exciting things in front of me right now, and in front of a lot of us. And a lot of it is kind of overwhelming. And it's all really important, so it's scary to think of trying to do it and not "succeeding". I just know that if we include God and rely on him, he'll make sure that what needs to get done, is done.

Prayer
Dear Lord, for everyone out there who's got a lot going on in their life, and is having trouble figuring out where to start, how to make it all work, how to prioritize, how to keep from letting others down, how to keep from letting themselves down, how to make time for you and for their loved ones and for all kinds of great things that could potentially be a blessing to so many people... Lord please watch over all of us. Give us strength and help us have a clear mind to see the path you have for us. Help us remember to always include you, not just for the big stuff, but for the small stuff too. And Lord, for those who don't have a relationship with you, but who you give them strength anyway, I pray that they could see where their strength is coming from, come to know you, love you, and follow you. Thank you Lord, thank you so very much. Amen.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Getting going again

Well, I've missed a few days. I've read the scripture every day but not journaled at all. I'm glad I still read it, but I definitely realize that I get a lot more out of it when I do the journal too. I think I even read it differently, maybe pay more attention, if I know I have to write about part of it. Anyway, glad to get going again with this journal after a wonderful little vacation to the mountains.

Nehemiah 7-8
Acts 1

Scripture
Nehemiah 7:2 I put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the commander of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most men do.

Observation
"Fear of God" was one of the traits that caused Nehemiah to put Hananiah in charge of Jerusalem.

Application
It seems like in life today, no one would put a person in charge of a city because they "feared God more than most men do". I'm not really sure how this scripture applies to me right now. I guess it just caught my attention because of the difference between the reasons Nehemiah used to choose who would be in charge, and the reasons we mostly use today. Thankfully in my life right now there are no major temptations to be "ungodly" in order to get ahead. But I would imagine that in many jobs out there, the desire to be "in charge" leads people to do things they know are wrong. Actually, there is probably some of that going on in my life that I don't even notice. Maybe it's not a desire to be "in charge" (I really have no desire to be a manager at work or anything like that) but just a desire to have what I want from life. I'm sure there are many ways that I'm overlooking what God wants to make sure that I can have what Kristy wants.

Prayer
Dear Lord, thanks that I can read your word, and even on the days when nothing is clearly speaking to me at first, you can lead me to learn something if I only give it a try. Lord help us all see where you are leading us in life. Maybe we can't see all the details of the life you are creating for us, the people you are leading us to be, but help us see the next right thing to do, the path straight ahead of us. And give us the strength and courage to take it. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Perfect Imperfection

Ezra 7, 8
Luke 20

SOAP - Perfect Imperfection

Scripture
Ezra 7:27-28 Praise be to the Lord, the God of our fathers, who has put it into the King's heart to bring honor to the house of the Lord in Jerusalem in this way and who has extended his good favor to me before the king and his advisers and all the king's powerful officials. Because the hand of he Lord my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leading men from Israel to go up with me.

Observation
This is the first point in the book of Ezra where Ezra speaks in first person. He gives thanks to God for working in the king's heart to help the people and he begins a personal account of bringing people of Israel to Jerusalem.

Application
Well, this morning I could tell that the document reviewer in me is at work even when I'm not at work. I was reading along and thought "first person? what? no, that can't be right." I was kinda proud that after having been reading books other than Ezra for a couple days, I could come back to it and realize something had changed. I was really excited when I looked in my study Bible and sure enough, Ezra suddenly changes from being a story he was writing, to being a first person account of returning to Jerusalem. If this was a document at work, it would be wrong. I'd make sure that all of it was written in the same tense. Suddenly changing to first person would be unacceptable, imperfect. But here it is, in the Bible! That's a pretty important book. And it works well here. You suddenly feel a kind of connection with Ezra. It's not just a story anymore, he was there, he was seeing God change the heart of a king and help his people. Technically, it's no perfect. But through God's work, it's absolutely perfect! I can be a quite a perfectionist. That comes in handy at work when someone wants their document to be "spotless". But it's not very useful day-to-day when I'm likely to avoid tasks or give up on things because I know they won't be "perfect". Just for the record, I usually have my own opinion of what "perfect" is, which might actually be far from perfect, but it's how I want it... selfish perfectionism maybe? Anyway... it can be hard to keep from stressing out and worrying about all the things around me that are all messed up. I need to keep in mind that God wants our love and our effort to serve him. He doesn't care if things come out "perfect" in the eyes of society. And he certainly doesn't care if things come out "perfect" in the eyes of Kristy. He'll make things perfect in his eyes and can use us no matter how imperfect we are. We'll never be perfect. That's not an excuse to not try. We should still do our best, but we can't let a desire to be perfect prevent us from getting the work done at all.

Prayer
Dear Lord. Thank you for using us and our efforts even when we make a mess of things. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness given to us when we fail. Thank you that you can take our imperfect love and still use it to love people and help them. Lord please bless our efforts to serve you and to serve one another. Amen.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Various thoughts from today's scripture

Esther 9, 10
Luke 19

Nothing in particular stood out today. But I did like a handful of things about this scripture...

1 - I know I've heard people talk about how different Jesus's message was from what the people were used to, but I've never really taken notice of that while reading the Bible. For some reason today that was clear to me when reading in Esther. People didn't like the Jews and wanted to kill them. The Jews wanted to kill their enemies. Both wanted to kill whole families of people they had potentially never met, just because someone decided they were enemies. And all that killing was no big deal to them. They were celebrating after it was done. I think if my life required me to kill some people in order to protect my family, I'd have a hard time celebrating. I'd be really really glad when we were safe, but having to kill people to stay safe would be really upsetting. Anyway, it was just really clear today how different the message of Jesus was, the message to love our enemies. And also how we need him in order to do that. I don't think that loving everyone comes naturally to people. We need the Lord's help to live in the way he calls us to live.

2 - I like the story of Zacchaeus. For some reason I picture a guy who had probably been ripping people off for years and never thought anything of it. But when confronted with the "wrongness" of his ways, he immediately abandoned them. And I like it that when Jesus said he needed to stay at Zacchaeus's house, Zacchaeus gladly accepted. He could have wanted to avoid Jesus because he knew he had been cheating people out of their money. He could have just not wanted a house guest and wished Jesus would stay somewhere else. Lots of things could have turned him off from the plan of having Jesus stay with him, but he responded to Jesus request gladly and I like that.

3 - One study Bible I have talks about the courage involved in Jesus riding the colt into town and teaching in the temple. It's funny how much I haven't noticed through the years in the gospels. I've never really thought about his courage during this time. So much focus is always put on the crucifixion. But I'm sure it was pretty scary to be openly teaching in the temple, knowing they were looking for any opportunity to kill him, knowing so many of the people hated him. It was scary and he knew it was leading to a horrible death, but he did it anyway.

Prayer
Dear Lord, please bless the reading and study of your word. Thank you for all that I'm learning in this Bible study. Lord I pray that you would help me and all of us keep making time for this and also to make sure we find time to get together and discuss it. That time has been a great blessing too. Thank you. Amen.

Monday, October 5, 2009

You still lack one thing...

Esther 1-8
Psalm 150
Luke 17-18

SOAP - You still lack one thing...

Scripture
Luke 18:23-27 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When he heard his, he became very sad because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Those who heard this asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Observation
If you are not willing to part with your material possessions, you're not going to enter the kingdom of God. It won't be easy to let go, and we can't do it on our own. We need God's help. He can make is possible.

Application
It's the same message again and again... "Kristy, you have too much stuff!" One day Hugh will come home from work to an empty house with a "sold" sign out front and we'll be hoping no one notices that we seem to be at the new church building all the time. No, not really. At least for now I don't feel God telling me to give away everything. But as I've said, there is a definitely a lot that needs to go. I've been thinking that God would somehow eventually make it easier to let go of things. But after reading this I'm thinking it won't get easier at all. I think I often look at a situation and decide that if looking unapproachable, if it's not easy, then God isn't really calling me to do that. I figure when the time comes for me to do what he wants, he'll make it look approachable and easy. Umm... not sure where I got that idea. Instead, I think God puts something big and scary in front of us. It's not approachable and easy. We depend on him to get us through. In the end even if everything falls apart, it still turns out "good" because our relationship with God is strengthened. He makes it possible for us to do things we can't do on our own, and be people we can't be on our own.
Another thing I noticed here is that it says "kingdom of God", not "heaven". Maybe everyone knows they are the same thing. But I don't know that. Too me the kingdom of God could be right here on earth in our everyday lives. Too me that is not just saying that it will be hard to get into heaven if we are focused on wealth. It's also saying that in our everyday lives it will be hard to lead a Christian life if we are focused on wealth. God won't be able to use us the way he wants us to because our attachment to "things" will be holding us back.
I love it and hate it at the same time when I realize something God is doing, and the fact that I'm holding up the process. I keep wondering where God is trying to take my life. And he keeps telling me, "Kristy, you have too much stuff!" And I'm still sitting there figuring I'll get rid of stuff eventually, wanting to know where God is taking me life. I'm thinking I probably won't find out much more about where he is taking my life until I get rid of some things. :-)

Prayer
Dear Lord, I'm scared and I feel incapable of being who you want me to be. But I know you are ready and willing to help me if I go where you lead me. Lord help me see the places where I turn away from you and give me strength to follow you even when it's not easy at all. Thank you Lord for your love. Thank you for all the ways you've already helped me do things I never thought I could do and be someone I never thought I could be. Your love is amazing. Amen.