Sunday's scripture

Sunday, I didn't plan on journaling about the scripture, but I did read it, and this time I was not watching football. I read Saturday's again too. And I have some time today so I think I'll kind of combine them for a journal entry...

I really liked part of the Psalm from Saturday. I liked all the references to things being done in vain if they are not what the Lord wants us to be doing. Psalm 127:1-2 Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders build in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for foot to eat, for he grants sleep to those he loves.

And it went well with Haggai 1:5-6 Now this is what the Lord almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. you eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on cloths, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it."

I have struggled a lot lately with trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to be doing. I'm not happy with my job. It's definitely not what I want to be doing. But there are soooooooo many factors that are involved in changing jobs. I look at all the options and nothing stands out as being the right choice. They all have bad parts. They all have good parts. All in all, none of them are that much better than what I've got here. But yet I'm sure that something has to change. Maybe it's not my job, maybe it's me. I don't know. I don't want to be working in vain. I don't want to be ignoring God. I'm scared to make any big decisions. What if they are wrong?What if they end up hurting someone I love? Things like Saturday make me worry because I didn't mean to make a bad decision, but it got made anyway. I thought it over, I considered whether this Bible study should be a priority. I decided it was ok if it wasn't. Ok, there are a lot of "I's" in that description of Saturday. Asking God would have most definitely produced a different outcome. In reality, I am really confused about my job, who I should be, where I should spend the most of my time, where God wants me in life. But I haven't devoted as much prayer time to that as I should, not even close, maybe barely any at all. That seems so obvious right now. Yep, prayer. More prayer. I think I'll start that now.

Dear Lord. I feel like there are a lot of choices in front of me. I feel like something needs to change from the way things are now. I'm scared of making the wrong choice and having it hurt someone I love, mostly Hugh, but also my family and friends. I don't want to do something stupid and end up being a burden on anyone. Honestly, I'm not even 100% sure why I think things need to change. I think you've told me that. But maybe I've just decided that. I really don't know. Dear Lord, please help me sort through some of this confusion. Help me see you and hear what you are trying to tell me. Does something about my life now need to change? What is it? Thank you so much Lord for the blessings you've given me. Help me see how to use them to serve you. Amen.